There are Skangers on the Luas,
There are Skangers on the Luas,
Are they here to screw us?,
There are Skangers on the Luas.
There is paper in the jack’s,
There is paper in the jack’s.
Can I drop my cax?
There is paper in the jack’s
Diary of Diarrhoea
This world unforgiving, stains shamefully cruel,
The unstoppable force of loose liquid stool.
Hasn’t been due to any malicious intents,
Passport says incontinent on 4 continents.
Sometimes don’t leave the airports,
As liquid poo fills up my shorts.
Half cooked chicken as connoisseur diuretic,
Not making the toilet is not just theoretic.
The inevitable release, my sphincter’s a farce,
I can’t breakdance anymore, I just piss out my arse.
Coming up on two yokes.
Nervous palpitation’s, chemicals on the way,
The tune’s and the club are starting to sway.
Place is full of heads and solid party folk’s.
You rush to the jack’s and puke up your yokes.
Kneeling in the piss, finger’s in the bowl,
Both Mitsubishi’s, financed by the dole.
Quick wallet fumble confirming that your broke,
Back to the gaff, time for a smoke.
Boat on dry land.
Recession, unemployment, cant listen to the news,
Daydreaming is the sport to fight away the blues.
Looking down on Ireland and wondering does it float,
From an elevated angle it looks just like a boat.
Attach some outboard motors, nothing would be finer,
We could sail the fucker south like a massive cruise liner.
And fuck you Europe, not meaning to sound mean,
Our next destination is the sunny Caribbean,
Far away from problems and shit meant to break ya,
Waking up moored besides the Rastas in Jamaica.
Flip-flops, sunglasses, everybody sipping Gin and Tonic,
As once subsidised farmers learn to cultivate the chronic.
The cow and the sheep
After many years of sharing the same field,
An inter-species love began to yield.
From running in the grass and enjoying a joke,
To scratching their hides and learning to smoke.
A proper relationship with passionate feelings befriended,
What happened in the bushes was not what God intended.
Their best friends knew, the chicken and the horse,
Of this forbidden union, they said nothing of course.
Then the pig found out and raised the alarm,
And squeeled to the man who was running the farm.
Cow and sheep were butchered to alleviate the shame,
Chicken and horse knew the pig was to blame.
Then late one night, when the animals were in bed,
They put on balaclavas and sneaked into the shed,
And took turns firing bullets into his head
The world is farting.
They are farting in their trains,
They are farting in their cars,
It wont be very long now,
Until they will be farting on Mars.
Farting on the catwalk’s,
Farting underground.
Humans farting everywhere,
What a perfect sound.
The worlds leaders are known to fart,
Obama’s usually the one to start.
I saw a cat fart on a mouse,
I fart myself, all around the house.
Poetry, rants and raves. 