Pass me the microphone
For I have something to say
I was born in the North
For what its worth
Should have done better in school
Still I’m nobody’s fool
Never knew what I wanted to be
Career guidance was lost on me
Find it difficult to watch the news
Mans inhumanity to man gives me the blues
Been blessed with good family and friends
Made a lot of mistakes but I’m making amends
I have found I have a certain modus operandi
And I’m glad I have found solace in poetry and comedy
I don’t know where I am going
And I have forgotten many of the places I have been
I put pen to paper whenever I can
For when I write troubles disappear
And as I sit here all alone
I dream of the next time someone passes me a microphone

The pub where I first got served has closed
I don’t know the basis
For closing this oasis
Josie served me my first drink
And its mad now to think
That its gone
I learned how to play and cheat well at cards
These words are meant with kind regards
I drank there when I was skipping school
I was there listening to DJ Kool
Sometimes I drank more than I was able
Sometimes I won a few quid at the pool table
I was there the night Rodge and Ned got barred
I laughed, I laughed hard
Met new people
And now its over
The pub where I was always welcome
Just a heartfelt Manor requiem

When you stare at your reflection
Its just you looking back
Take a moment and wonder
At the miracle that is life

Feed me, feed me now
I’m fucking starving you don’t know how
Three sausages not fucking two
Two rashers of bacon not a few
Pudding white and pudding black
Two fried eggs cause I’ve been smoking crack
Don’t look at me as a man of little means
Flash that plate up with Bachelor’s beans
Homemade soda or toast for the soakage
The ladies in town come to me for the pokeage
Assemble the troops quickly bitch
As I have the urge to scutter
Fry the whole fucking lot in creamery butter

When I’m hungry my stomach does bellow
Head to the chipper and be a nice fellow
Treat yourself to a burger and a bag
Walk down town smiling smoking a fag
But where will I go? Lets not be hasty
There’s a nice looking bird works in Tasty
Haven’t got much cash to blow
Half price Wednesday in Angelo’s
When I’m rich I’ll drive to collect in a ferrari
Oh they do a lovely bag in Macari’s
Fuck the burger and chips I want my fill
Of the house special pizza in the Roma Grill
I’m not going to McDonalds, Burger King or Supermacs
Their chips are shite, the food is just scraps
My favorite chipper,
The chips are so fine,
All the way from Italy, kind of
Its Carmine’s.