Bollocks to the Poppy
That old racist jalopy
My lyrics ain’t sloppy
Bollocks to the Poppy
What about the 1 million Irish who starved in the Great Famine
On this issue there is only one side
And that’s British genocide
What about the troubles?
Who is responsible?
What about 800 years of occupation?
800 years of subserviency
And they expect Irish people to wear the fucking Poppy
These deaths are irreversible
The Poppy is a symbol of tyranny
Like the Brits locking up my dad without trial in Long Kesh
Also known as the H-Blocks
James McClean is a modern day Irish hero
The Poppy brigade count him as less than zero
But he knows his history
As do I
Bollocks to the Poppy
I’m Irish true and true

I’m having a perfect day
Perfect in every way
Had a good night’s sleep
Nice dreams and sleep so deep
Didn’t meet any assholes
Which is fantastic
Regular check up with my GP
No problems which he could see
Just a perfect day
Like Lou Reed’s song
Totally perfect nothing wrong
Just a perfect day

Do you know how it feels to be Bi-Polar
Do you really want to know
Do you want to know about the Highs
Do you want to know about the Lows
Do you want to know about being sectioned
Should we go through that, do you reckon
Do you know why people kill themselves
Do you really want to know
Or are you just glad it’s not you
Do you understand mental illness
Are you an outsider or are you a witness
Do you really want to know
Do you want to know how it feels to be really sick
Being too high or too low, which would you pick
Do you know where you are on the mood spectrum
Taking medication to the minimum or maximum hoping for the optimum
Do you really want to know
Do you know how it feels to be happier dead than suffering life
Count your blessings
Go easy on people and the troubles they are facing
Go easy

Got my Inter and Leaving Certificate
For all that’s worth
Didn’t want to get stuck in the mud
Always knew I had Gypsy blood
From a young age I knew I had to try
To find where the eagles fly
I knew I had to travel
My dream was to visit as many countries as possible
To meet different people
To embrace other cultures
To eat different food
To soak up different landscapes
To study local histories
No better feeling
Than getting on a long distance flight
And money in the bank
Travelling broadens your horizons
Gives you a better outlook on life
Every country is a new experience
Every country a new audience
For me

Some people who are close
Are slowly killing you
You only have one life
Be they family or be they friend
Put yourself on the mend
And get rid

Small town loser
Rarely left the comfort of the town
Acts like the local clown
Never learnt to drive
Never learned enough to warrant being alive
Life is dim and also grim
Better take that belly to the gym
Could save your life by learning how to swim
Small town loser
The world is out there
But you just sit there in the pub on a chair
Giving out and making excuses
This is where my argument introduces
Life is what you make it
And you have to make it
What are the options?

Galvins does good menswear, but far too expensive
Guy does OK menswear, decent price but poor quality
Lana does tasty food, am eating my way through their menu
Flynns do the best sandwich in town, used to be Sambodinos
Tesco ruined the town, as they always do
Athlone is a much better town to shop in
The county council charge small business’s too much in rates
Lee’s is the best pub in town, followed by Spollens
They should pedestrianize O’Connor Square
The managers and staff of all the Indian restaurants are sound
Carmines and Macaris do great chips
Carry Out is the best Off License
The town park is one of the few things the council got right
More to follow

There is only one left
Possibly now understaffed
Relying on poetry and comedy as his craft
The only one in the county
Like a novel by Emily Brontë
Shall seek further writings as my bounty
Born in the North and proud of my rich heritage
Trying to pass on my mesage
In a common language
Big plans ahead
Still alive not dead
Want my material to be read
I’m the only Mallaghan in Offaly
I take the job seriously
My brain is awake I am recently awoken
I am the last of the Offaly Mallaghan Mohicans

Don’t wanna know about war
Don’t wanna know about famine
Don’t wanna know about greed
I want to know what people need
Don’t wanna know about corruption
Don’t wanna know about the homeless
Don’t wanna know about addiction
I want to know about fact as opposed to fiction
Don’t wanna know about Trump
Don’t wanna know about American foreign policy
Don’t wanna know about inhumanity
I want a clear picture as opposed to the obvious insanity
Don’t wanna know about the false gods above
Don’t wanna know about evil, I just wanna know about love