Sneaky wank

House is empty
Lets be frank
Its time for a sneaky wank

Broadband or memory bank
Keep an eye on your flank
Cause its time for a sneaky wank

One in the tank?
Walking round with a plank?
Is your name Hank?
Your overdue a sneaky wank

Firing only blank?
Your own arse you do spank?
Did yer man escape from Shawshank?
Nothing as inevitable as the sneaky wank

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The new Pope hits the bong

The new Pope hits the bong
The new Pope wrote a hip-hop song
The new Pope is on the boil
The new Pope smokes gear off foil
The new Pope is devoid of sin
The new Pope snorts ketamine
The new Pope has fancy britches
The new Pope goes crazy for the bitches
The new Pope walks without a limp
The new Pope is a superfly pimp
The new Pope knows how to breakdance
The new Pope is the Catholics last chance

Interviewing for a princess

My mission I must confess
Is a pretty lady in a pretty dress
For I demand nothing less
Information given without duress
Drunken grammar meant to express
My desire to undress
I may appear to be a mess
But I have achieved personal success
The fuckers are about to my house repossess
For this I care not to redress
There is only one thought of which I obsess
Interviewing for my princess

Walking down a forest path

Imagine walking down a forest path
And meeting a person previously met every corner at
Would it become a chore?
Would remembering names your conscience bore?
What if it was someone that caught your eye?
Someone far from shy?
I would like to do the math
And continue down this forest path.

The universe resides inside my head

The universe resides inside my head
The universe is the books I’ve read
The universe is my passport stamps
The universe is about lighting lamps
The universe is my X-ray scan
The universe is me being a man
The universe cares nothing for the past
The universe cares not if I come last
The universe is my diagnosis
The universe is devoid of all prognosis
The universe is about me and you
The universe will continue when we are through

Chasing your love through forest fog

Mist is rising
Run she does
Run she runs from the one she loves
Looking back she casts a smile
Runs she does mile after mile
Secretly hoping she is caught
Tenderly ravished as she is ought
As you transform into a beast
Your passion for her unleashed
From mortal man to moonlight wolf
Tracking down the woman you love