I have lead legions of men to their death

I’ve been there when they took their last breath

I fought with Atilla the Hun

I rode into battle on a horse in every war that we won

I fought against the crusades, against religion and greed

I fought against the church and the poison I read

I fought in the 100 years war and the war of the Roses

I never questioned the question this poses

I fought against the Spanish conquest of the Aztec Empire

I burned the bodies on pyres ever higher and higher

I fought in the Napoleonic Wars with Bonaparte by my side

As the blood washed up with every tide

I fought in the Cuban War of Independence

And even now it doesn’t make sense

I fought in World War 1, where nearly 40 million died

I took shelter in my trench and I cried and I cried

I stormed the beaches of Normandy to stop the Nazi advance

And wondered does humanity really have a chance

Am I a Walter Mitty character just dreaming in my bed?

Or am I just reimagining the history of mankind’s cruelty instead?

When I look back

Especially at the last ten years since I moved home

At all the time wasted and lost forever

How much more living I could have done

And how much happier I would have been

The problems I thought I had

Have all disappeared

They didn’t even exist

They were all in my head

83 days sober

It’s poison to me now